There are a lot of factors contributing to missing runs - lack of sleep. I've been plague with some sort of insomnia for awhile - though this could be a bit of a chicken and egg thing - I'd sleep better if I got out for regular runs. Some of it is my little girl does not sleep well at night and I have to tuck her back in and make sure she's asleep before I can go.
Then there's the long list of projects that need to get done before kid #2 arrives. And I hope he doesn't show up early like his sister.
And finally, lack of motivation. This is tied to the other two I'm sure, but I can't seem to get motivated to get out the door. I suppose I could go out right now, but I've been awake since 3:30 am and I am exhausted, but my brain isn't letting me go back to sleep just yet. So I thought I'd get my thoughts out.
My 20 year high school reunion was this past weekend, back in Jamestown, New York. I missed it and my 10 year reunion for good reasons - 10 years ago we had just got married and were moving into out new house that very weekend. This time around, there were a few reasons - money, time and the fact that there is too much potential for Steph to deliver early.
I had thought after my 10 year came and went that I'd be over the whole reunion thing. After all, it was high school and I've moved on. I've lived my life always looking forward, only taking quick glances back. I don't dwell on the past, because you can't change the past, only learn from it (hopefully). I realized though, that I miss some of my friends. Some of whom I have not seen since graduation -- a supposed huge milestone our my lives. I am sure I had heard about some of them over the years, some I even saw for the first couple of summers since I was still in town going to community college. But once I left for college, Jamestown was no longer a place I wanted to be.
I was struggling as to why I am having this sudden nostalgic look back and I think I just realized that those 4 years were part of developing who I am (not entirely mind you). I honestly think I am a very different person from who I was back then - hopefully less awkward, more confident and certainly healthier.
I caught up with a high school friend 4 years ago and I was amazed that those last 16 years seemed like they never happened. We picked up almost were we left off, though having very different lives. And it was so great to be face to face. Over the past year or two I've gotten back in touch with quite a few friends via Facebook and it's been great to read what they've been up to and what they are doing now, but there is something lacking. Having that face to face time would mean so much more. And I think I would have had a great time seeing my old friends again. I hope that I don't have to wait another 10 years to see them, but I suspect 10 years will be here before you know it.
A final thought: I guess I need to relive my past just a little bit - just to remind me where I've come from if nothing else. I am not unhappy with my life by any means nor do I think I am old and feel the need to relive my youth. Life is just so short and friends come and go so fast that any chance to reconnect is a great thing. Besides, I have so few friends that I hate to lose any more. What's the line from"It's A Wonderful Life"? --
"No man is a failure who has friends"
