back to running

This morning I ran.

I actually felt I had to run. More importantly I actually felt like I wanted to run.

Yesterday I realized that I am probably in the worst shape I've been in since I began running.

Something that scared me and depressed me a little.

My attempt to make some changes this year and train for a marathon just wasn't enough. If anything had to give during this busy summer, it was my running. The good thing is it is my favorite time of year for running, so I think it will help keep me moving forward and be consistent.Do I need a race goal? Not sure. I haven't really run a race trained for a race in quite some time. Even the half marathon I ran in May was barely trained for.

I am giving myself 6 months to turn things around and get back in shape and a full 12 months to get ready for a yet to be determined race for my 40th birthday. I don't want to be an old fat guy who talks about what he used to do...

time to make some changes.

LOST: My Running Mojo

I am not sure what happened, but I feel burned out. My running went from on track, to derailed, to back on track, to run out of steam. My goal of a marathon this year is about dashed - with only one hope left -- a December Marathon.

In trying to figure out what went wrong, I came to the conclusion: It doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is I am not running. I have a desire to (especially when the temperatures drop like they did this weekend), but yet I did not feel compelled to get out. It was much too easy to do other things (of which I have plenty to do). I think if all the "other stuff" were done, I'd feel like I could go out for a run. Problem is, it's a never ending list of stuff, so I need to break this cycle.

Here it is September already. The summer was a blur -- very busy at work, very busy with the race plans, trying to keep on top of all things and somewhere in there I did run (not always with great consistency, but I ran nonetheless). Now is the time to renew my bond with the trails and prepare for the fall running season. I just need to find time, er, I mean make some time.

My 39th birthday is less than 2 weeks away... 39. Wow. I have a year left to celebrate my 30's. I will want to celebrate it with something big at the end... perhaps a marathon? 

Only time will tell.

A moment to reflect...

As I sit here typing this, I still cannot believe it is August, and just 2 days away from the Inaugural Run 4 Everett. The event was born out of a need to do "something", out of a sense of helplessness on my part I suppose. We wanted to memorialize our little boy with an event, but also raise awareness and educate the masses. The race seemed like the right venue for what we wanted.

In the past 9 months +/- it has been tough, stressful, emotional, healing, uplifting, exciting and scary all rolled into one. To know we have put together an event that so far has far exceeded our expectations (373 participants as I type) is amazing. Now, I know we still have to hold the event, but in my mind's eye, it will be a fun event for all, and it will not only be a great race for runners and walkers, but for families who have experienced a loss as well.

I was thinking about how running ties so well into all of this. Running is a social sport - it truly is. I know of no other sport where, for whatever reason, you open up and share more than you would otherwise. But it also allows you to be by yourself and your thoughts too. I am sure I have mentioned it before, but it is worth repeating, running helped me work through my grief in so many ways. And I have heard of another father who took up running and channeled his grief as well - he truly understands where I am coming from.

So the next two days will be busy (an understatement for sure), but we are having fun. We got 300 bags stuffed yesterday. We had help from family and friends in the morning. Then in the evening it was a true family affair. Lilli was so excited to help. We had an assembly line formed. She dropped in pens and a bracelet, I did cards and magnets and Steph was putting in flyers.

Packet pick-up on Friday, plus setting up some of the race course that evening, then all hands on deck Saturday morning to get things finalized.

I'm pretty excited...

My morning run with my little boy

This morning, not unlike most mornings for almost the past year, I went for a run. I have a ritual of sorts that I go through.  I step outside and always look up to the celestial heavens and find the brightest star. For me, that is Everett looking down on me.

I feel a sense of comfort in this. And no matter how cloudy it is, I seem to always find a star.

It is a tough day today, as a year ago today was when our world turned upside down. This morning, there seemed to be a brighter star than normal - almost like Everett was telling me how proud he is of us for what we have done the past year.

And I will admit, I cried a couple of times while I ran. I still miss him very much. I wish he was really here with me, riding in the jog stroller just like his sister... in my hopes and dreams he did all of that and more before he was even born, which is why it still hurts a year later.

Tomorrow is Everett's 1st Birthday. We will be celebrating it by visiting the cemetary, a small birthday cake to name a couple of things, and I will be going for another early morning run with him.

Marathon Training: Reboot

I got out for a run today. It was the worst run I've had in awhile.

Okay, it was the only run I've had in awhile, and the run before probably was the worst run (in terms of pain anyway). I planned to run 9 miles, basically an easy run to get back into. The humidity quickly sucked any energy I had, which was almost non-existent.

I ended up running a 10k. I suppose that's not bad for being off two-weeks. The good news is my back is fine. If anything the run seemed to keep it loose. I am a bit worried about maintaining consistency in my training. With so much going this month, it may be hard to get some of my longer runs in. I may just need to sign up with a running club to find people to run with to help me stay on target.

I am needing to tweak my whole training plan at this point. Running two days on the weekend isn't going to work, so I need to find my plans from past marathons and adapt what I have from this point out.

The good thing at this point is this coming week is an "easy" week -- the redo of the last week I ran. So, I will cap it off with another attempt at a 9 mile run, the dive back into double digit long runs form this point forward. Since I am taking a step back, I am now setting my sites on the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon in November. It's a relatively flat course, so it might even be a little easier. I am still hoping to do the Indianapolis half marathon in October, and then if everything works out, the Tecumseh Trail Marathon in December. Big plans, but I hope I can make it all come together.

Hopefully, I will have more to report next week. Until then, keep on running...