confessions of an addict

Okay, I am being a little dramatic... or am I?

It has been 3 days since I ran and my knee is not feeling much better. It doesn't hurt when it is not in motion, it doesn't hurt if I press on it or anything around it. I cannot run until my knee feels better - in fact, I can't really walk without it hurting (if I walk too fast). I am trying to not worry about reaching my mileage goal for the year - no big deal actually. I am surprisingly not depressed, but perhaps it hasn't hit me yet. I would like to get on with running, I need it. I feel a little empty without it. Even with everything else I have to do (work, finish Christmas shopping, wrap gifts, miscellaneous family stuff, etc.) I feel like I am not doing anything.

Then my thoughts start going to the questions like: "Why now?" "Is it serious?" "Should I go to the doctor?" "What do I do if he says no running for a long time?" "What if he says I need surgery?" Obviously my mind jumps the gun a bit - and if it had it's own stomach, it would have an ulcer by now, but I am coping. One day at a time. But man, I need a running fix really bad...